What Does Couples Therapy Actually Look Like?
Starting couples therapy can feel nerve-wracking. You might find yourself wondering: What will this be like? What should we expect? How do we even get started? Asking these questions is a wonderful place to start. Let’s lean into this curiosity together and detail what the beginning stages may look like for you and your partner.
Getting Started
Couples therapy begins when you and your partner decide it’s time to take that courageous leap and find a therapist that’s right for you. One of the most helpful first questions to ask yourselves is: What are our goals?
Maybe you’re navigating a life transition, rebuilding after infidelity, or wanting to strengthen communication and connection. Having a general sense of what you’re hoping for can help guide your search for a therapist who aligns with your needs.
In my work, I support couples through life transitions, infidelity, communication challenges, conflict resolution, and deepening emotional connection.
The Consultation Call
Once you’ve found a therapist, the next step is usually a consultation. I offer a free 15-minute call where both partners are encouraged to attend.
This is a space to:
Share what’s bringing you to therapy
Begin identifying goals and areas where you feel stuck
Ask questions about the process
Review scheduling, fees, and policies
Think of this as a chance to get a feel for the process before fully beginning.
The First Session
The goal of the first session is to gather additional information about your relationship as a whole. We’ll explore things like:
Your relationship history
Strengths and points of connection
Areas of conflict or tension
Stressors and major life events
Patterns you’ve noticed
This information gathering can be helpful in forming perspective of the issues at hand and strengths. As we continue to work together, your story will continue to take shape as we get to know one another and build upon the therapeutic relationship.
Individual Sessions
In the next phase, each partner will have an individual session. These meetings offer space to:
Talk more openly about personal experiences
Share individual mental health concerns
Explore how personal patterns may be impacting the relationship
These sessions allow for deeper insight and help ensure that both partners feel heard on an individual level. Additionally, it helps me as a therapist to identify how personal concerns may be impacting the relationship.
Coming Back Together
After the intake process, we come back together as a couple to begin the ongoing work. From here, we’ll:
Identify patterns within your relationship
Clarify goals moving forward
Build tools for communication and connection
Work toward meaningful, lasting change
Couples therapy isn’t about placing blame but rather about understanding, growth, and learning how to show up for one another in new ways.
If you’re considering couples therapy, you don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need a willingness to start.