When is the best time to start couples therapy?
Should it be when conflict starts to build, when communication breaks down, or only when things feel like they’re falling apart? The truth is, couples therapy isn’t just for relationships in crisis. It can be a proactive and supportive space for deepening understanding, improving communication, and strengthening your connection—whether you’re newly together or decades in. If you’re pondering the question about when is the “best” or the “right” time to start couples therapy, the answer is now.
Most couples wait an “average of 2.68 years” after the onset of problems before starting couples therapy (Doherty et al., 2021). Some common concerns that lead couples to seeking couples therapy include: communication challenges, infidelity, recurring fights, life transitions, and dissatisfaction with intimacy. No matter how long it’s been since you and your partner have started navigating obstacles, it is not too late to start couples counseling together.
It’s also never too early to start seeking couples counseling. Premarital counseling has been proven to increase marital satisfaction by 30% (Carroll & Doherty, 2003). Preventive couples counseling can help you and partner establish effective communication, learn conflict resolution strategies, explore shared values, and establish goals for your shared future.
It can be a challenge for many couples to start therapy together. Partners traveling within the state, work hours, commute times, and the hectic responsibilities of parenting are all factors that can contribute to putting off couples counseling. The good news is that virtual couples counseling can fit into your busy schedule with increased flexibility and no commute times! The better news? Virtual couples counseling has been proven to be equally as effective as in-person therapy when there is a strong relationship between the couple and their therapist (Kysely et al., 2022).
Whether you and your partner are looking to start therapy services because of new or existing problems or as a preventive measure, now is the time to begin. Questioning starting couples therapy may mean that there are areas for growth within your relationship. If you’ve been considering couples therapy, consider this your sign to start the conversation. Growth doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right guidance, it can begin today.
References
Carroll, J. S., & Doherty, W. J. (2003). Evaluating the effectiveness of premarital prevention programs: A meta-analytic review of outcome research. Family Relations: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies, 52(2), 105–118. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2003.00105.x
Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., Hall, E. L., & Hubbard, A. K. (2021). How long do people wait before seeking couples therapy? A research note. Journal of marital and family therapy, 47(4), 882–890. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12479
Kysely, A., Bishop, B., Kane, R. T., McDevitt, M., De Palma, M., & Rooney, R. (2022). Couples Therapy Delivered Through Videoconferencing: Effects on Relationship Outcomes, Mental Health and the Therapeutic Alliance. Frontiers in psychology, 12, 773030. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.773030